Divorced… baby momma drama to the extent that they don’t know where the children are.. men with emotional issues from the gulf war… men who don’t know their with masturbation problems… abusive… jealous hearted… low self esteeem… suicidal…

What is the lesson to be learned in all of these encounters???

You can’t fix someone else’s problems.. only God can do that! We can say what we have to say about it but in the end only God can heal the broken hearted and ease trouble minds.. Being there for people is one thing… but being their crutch (miniature god) is another.

Sometimes we meet nice people and they are looking for someone to fill the “void” in their life but they disguise it by telling you that they are looking for their wife, good thing, or rib.. whatever they call it these days.. but they are really trying to fill the void where a lack of a relationship with God exists. The first thing that should be explored when someone tell you that is that person’s relationship with God.

When we get involved with these kind of people we are really setting ourselves up for failure and exposing that person to the kind of disappointment that leaves deep seated scars. They might be left feeling like we have betrayed them or they poured out their heart with no chance of a return on the investment. It is so important to be honest with people from the beginning. Men should be keen enough to know when a lady is really needy or yearning to be loved and vice versa or if it is truly a love that is unselfish and selfless. Love is giving. Love is patient and kind. Love is not sex and you can’t just make love. I have found out that you might be intimate with a person but that doesn’t mean that he loves you or that he will stay with you. Love is a decision… a choice… a calculated choice.. one where you have counted up the costs and decided that this person is worth my time.. effort.. and attention.. That person becomes your assignment and you gladly accept. Love is not what Hollywood prescribes…. its not what you hear in songs on the radio.. love is an awesome choice.. “For God so loved the world that he gave..” To know how to love someone you must have experienced the unconditional love of God and the redemption of Jesus Christ. To love me inspite of all that I have done and yet still love me when you know my tomorrow. You can’t love horizontially correct until the vertical love is in tact. God will show you how to love… He’ll show a husband how to please his wife and vice versa but we have to tap into that.. We can’t pull baggage and old issues into new relationships and expect God to bless the mess.


I agree with India when she says “give me the courage to love with an open heart”. We have to spend time getting to know ourselves and improving upon what we find. We have to become the right person so when that issue free brotha comes along we can just flow like a silk curtain in the wind..


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